1 hour ago
December 30, 2009
December 29, 2009
December 25, 2009
December 24, 2009
Snooki Street Fighter
Disclaimer: The Funktards do not condone dudes hitting women. We do condone video game parodies, though.
December 23, 2009
Have a Very Busey Christmas
I'm gonna be pissed if somebody doesn't get me one of these 3 Santa Busey Moon t-shirts for Christmas.
Side note: Sorry I've only been making sporadic Funktarded appearances lately. It'll likely only remain that way through the holiday season. Hopefully by the time the new year rolls around, I'll have a lot of my real life bullshit squared away and will be able to focus a bit more. Until then (and even after), keep checking out the best Tweets ever, courtesy of Duke on the Funktards' Twitter page.
Side note: Sorry I've only been making sporadic Funktarded appearances lately. It'll likely only remain that way through the holiday season. Hopefully by the time the new year rolls around, I'll have a lot of my real life bullshit squared away and will be able to focus a bit more. Until then (and even after), keep checking out the best Tweets ever, courtesy of Duke on the Funktards' Twitter page.
December 21, 2009
December 19, 2009
December 18, 2009
December 17, 2009
Sexy Superhero Chicks
This video might just serve as inspiration for a "Hot Comic Book Chicks" edition of 'The Hi-5'. After all, comic books and hot chicks are right up our alley. And, yes. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible for dudes to be sufficiently educated in both of those categories at once. Rare, but possible.
via Friggin Random
The 'Iron Man 2' Trailer Has Arrived
The wait is over. The Iron Man 2 trailer has finally hit the web and it looks just as fucking awesome as expected. May 7 can't get here soon enough!
Did you see that? Did you see it? Did you? Did you? War Machine looks fucking badass. Iron Man looks even more awesome than he did in the first flick. And Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow is simply fuckin' yum. Damn, I can't wait for this film!
Did you see that? Did you see it? Did you? Did you? War Machine looks fucking badass. Iron Man looks even more awesome than he did in the first flick. And Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow is simply fuckin' yum. Damn, I can't wait for this film!
December 16, 2009
December 13, 2009
The Hi-5: Movie (Joe) Badasses
On Sept. 10, 2009, The Funktards gave you the first taste of 'The Hi-5' when we brought you The Hi-5: Hottest Music Videos Ever Made. As it turns out, the Google seemed to dig our list. Seriously, who would've guessed our goofy asses would be two spots below Billboard and three spots below Maxim (UK) in the top five results? Anyone?
Naturally, you'd think we'd immediately follow up on the success with another edition of 'The Hi-5.'
How quickly you forget we are geeks with 90s-era slacker tendencies.
And so, a little over three months later, we're comin' at you with the second installment of 'The Hi-5,' this one dedicated to everyday cinematic heroes we like to call 'Joe Badasses.'*
5. Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams - Army of Darkness.
Let's face it. There's a little bit of Ash in all of us (all of us who would read this blog, anyway). Working for The Man at S-Mart, he suddenly finds himself in an every-geek fantasy and rises to the occasion with form and style. Scored bonus points for over-the-top cockiness, his frequent use of terms like "baby" and "groovy," and for innovative use of a chainsaw.
Quote of Badassedness: "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."
4. John McClane - Die Hard
No list of badassery (like how we keep doing that?) would be complete without John McClane. Aside from kicking ass, this tough old bastard did three things well: he drank, he smoked, he cursed. He could've been the black sheep of the fucking Halls of Justice.
Quote of Badassedness: "Yeah, I got a deal for you. Crawl out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass."
3. John J. Rambo - First Blood
Take a decorated Green Beret, shunned by society and let some small-town lawman try to hold him down. That, our friends, is a concoction sure to yield pain ... and badassery. Bonus points for that badass knife and for having the nerve to sew his own stitches, after jumping off a fucking cliff into the waiting needles of hundreds of pine trees.
Quote of Badassedness: "Don't push it. Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe."
2. Han Solo - The Holy Trilogy
If you thought someone from the Star Wars universe wouldn't make the cut, you fail at life. C'mon, son! Is this your first time here? Smuggler. Mercenary. Ladies' man. Friend to Wookies. He kicked Imperial ass without The Force, without a light saber and without the slightest freak out over that whole brother/sister kiss his girl partook of. Oh yeah, and he shot first.
Quote of Badassedness: "Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me."
1. Seth Gecko - From Dusk Till Dawn
Sure, maybe he is a professional thief, but that doesn't keep Clooney's character from being the utmost badass in this cult fave. Besides, Seth is nowhere near as fucked up as his guts-loving brother, Richard ... so we don't feel bad rooting for him to wreak havoc on all those strip-club-lovin' vampires. Bonus points for the entire convenience store scene. Kicking the shelf and catching the lighter fluid? That shit was straight Arthur Fonzarelli with a gun, yo.
Quote of Badassedness: "I don't give a damn about living or dying anymore; all I care about is taking as many as those demons back to hell as I can."
*Note: To qualify as a 'Joe Badass,' a movie character simply had to be an average Joe with no super-hero abilities. That's it. And it was one tough bitch to narrow this list down to five - so if you think we've dicked someone over, let us know in the comments. We'll be happy to tip our hats to any solid candidates and to brutally insult the mothers of those who reference any character from the Twilight series.
Naturally, you'd think we'd immediately follow up on the success with another edition of 'The Hi-5.'
How quickly you forget we are geeks with 90s-era slacker tendencies.
And so, a little over three months later, we're comin' at you with the second installment of 'The Hi-5,' this one dedicated to everyday cinematic heroes we like to call 'Joe Badasses.'*
5. Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams - Army of Darkness.
Let's face it. There's a little bit of Ash in all of us (all of us who would read this blog, anyway). Working for The Man at S-Mart, he suddenly finds himself in an every-geek fantasy and rises to the occasion with form and style. Scored bonus points for over-the-top cockiness, his frequent use of terms like "baby" and "groovy," and for innovative use of a chainsaw.Quote of Badassedness: "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."
4. John McClane - Die Hard
No list of badassery (like how we keep doing that?) would be complete without John McClane. Aside from kicking ass, this tough old bastard did three things well: he drank, he smoked, he cursed. He could've been the black sheep of the fucking Halls of Justice.Quote of Badassedness: "Yeah, I got a deal for you. Crawl out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass."
3. John J. Rambo - First Blood
Take a decorated Green Beret, shunned by society and let some small-town lawman try to hold him down. That, our friends, is a concoction sure to yield pain ... and badassery. Bonus points for that badass knife and for having the nerve to sew his own stitches, after jumping off a fucking cliff into the waiting needles of hundreds of pine trees.
Quote of Badassedness: "Don't push it. Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe."
2. Han Solo - The Holy Trilogy
If you thought someone from the Star Wars universe wouldn't make the cut, you fail at life. C'mon, son! Is this your first time here? Smuggler. Mercenary. Ladies' man. Friend to Wookies. He kicked Imperial ass without The Force, without a light saber and without the slightest freak out over that whole brother/sister kiss his girl partook of. Oh yeah, and he shot first.
Quote of Badassedness: "Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me."
1. Seth Gecko - From Dusk Till Dawn
Sure, maybe he is a professional thief, but that doesn't keep Clooney's character from being the utmost badass in this cult fave. Besides, Seth is nowhere near as fucked up as his guts-loving brother, Richard ... so we don't feel bad rooting for him to wreak havoc on all those strip-club-lovin' vampires. Bonus points for the entire convenience store scene. Kicking the shelf and catching the lighter fluid? That shit was straight Arthur Fonzarelli with a gun, yo.
Quote of Badassedness: "I don't give a damn about living or dying anymore; all I care about is taking as many as those demons back to hell as I can."
*Note: To qualify as a 'Joe Badass,' a movie character simply had to be an average Joe with no super-hero abilities. That's it. And it was one tough bitch to narrow this list down to five - so if you think we've dicked someone over, let us know in the comments. We'll be happy to tip our hats to any solid candidates and to brutally insult the mothers of those who reference any character from the Twilight series.
December 12, 2009
December 11, 2009
Fast Food Watchmen
Jack’s Journal. Nov. 12, 1985: Discarded cup in alley this morning, tire tread on burst straw. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of ketchup and when the drains finally crust over all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their grease and soda will foam up about their waists, and all the pigs and gluttons will look up and shout, "Feed us!"
And I’ll whisper, "No."
via EPICponyz
December 10, 2009
Bikinis + Roller Skates + Boxing = Epic Win
I have no idea what the color commentator is saying in this video, nor do I care. What I do know, though, is that this video is full of EPIC WIN.
December 9, 2009
December 5, 2009
December 4, 2009
Mario ... the Pin-Up Girl?
Do you realize what this means? Mario saving the Princess results in some hot girl-on-girl action in the Mushroom Kingdom. We're big fans of hot girl-on-girl action in the Mushroom Kingdom ... or anywhere else, for that matter.
Lar deSouza is the genius behind this awesomeness.
via The Daily What
Goro Make Good Schedule
Did you ever notice that the Mortal Kombat "tournament" wasn't actually a tournament at all? Johnny Cage finally realizes this and brings it to Shang Tsung's attention. It turns out that Goro's schedule-making abilities, or lack thereof, are to blame.
See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
December 3, 2009
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