Getting There Is Half The Fun

All that's missing is for that kid on top to be standing on his head a la Teen Wolf.


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'Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl'

There are only two things that I know about this film:

1. The title is Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl.

2. The trailer was so fucking crazy that I just had to post it.

High-Fives For Everyone

Who knew that watching some dude high-fiving random, unsuspecting cab hailers in New York City could be so awesome?

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Whoa! Where'd These Come From?

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Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

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One, Two, Freddy's Coming For You

Horror movie remakes strike again. This time, though, they might've struck gold.

I've voiced my disapproval of the numerous film remakes/reboots/reimaginings, specifically those involving horror movies, a few times here on the blog. Originality in Hollywood seems to have gotten lost somewhere along the way. 

With that in mind, I wasn't very happy about the news that A Nightmare on Elm Street would be the next iconic horror film to get the remake treatment. Sure, it was inevitable, but it was still news that I didn't want to hear.

However, once it was announced that Jackie Earle Haley -- and thankfully not the much-rumored Billy Bob Thornton -- would be donning the infamous glove, fedora, and striped sweater, I began to change my mind a bit. After all, this is the same dude who turned in a flawless performance as the ruthless, mentally unstable Rorschach in the film adaptation of Watchmen. Before that, his role as an obviously unstable sex offender in Little Children earned him an Oscar nomination. Plus, he'll be appearing in the upcoming Martin Scorsese flick, Shutter Island, playing a patient in a hospital for the criminally insane.

Do you see a pattern forming here? Seriously, if anybody besides Robert Englund can pull off the maniacal Freddy Krueger, it's this guy. 

And, while A Nightmare on Elm Street's first teaser trailer -- which hit the Web earlier today -- doesn't give away too much of Haley's performance as the psychopathic dream-stalker, it does give us a good idea of what to expect from the flick. I must say, it looks very fucking cool.

Nine, ten, never sleep again.

A Woman's Place

A woman's place is wherever the hell she wants it to be when she's wearing that!

Of course, since she's already in there, some pancakes wouldn't hurt.

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140 Character Limit in Real Life

It's only a matter of time before Twitter has taken control of the entire world. The video that follows illustrates what will likely be the end result of this global Twitter takeover.

Speaking of Twitter, the Funktards finally joined the Twitter community a few weeks ago. So, get your asses over there and follow us right now!

Reading is Fun

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Sci-Fi Weekend

Fans of science fiction flicks should have a busy weekend as both Pandorum and Surrogates open in theaters today. Of the two, Surrogates looks more appealing to me. However, Pandorum doesn't look bad at all. 

Surrogates: 

Pandorum:

Can I Get One of Those 'WOOOOOOO!" Tickets?

I checked my phone last night to find a text message from lifelong friend of the Funktards and recent guest blogger Wayne. You may remember Wayne's commentary titled "The Uncovered Truth," where he brought to light the truth about the denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood and their obvious affinity for illegal narcotics.

Currently, Wayne is visiting some family out in North Carolina where the North Carolina Education Lottery has apparently started a new promotion. The text message he sent said this: "Dude! They have Ric Flair lottery tickets in North Carolina. WOOOOOOO!" 

And, as luck would have it, I happened to run across this video just a few hours after receiving that text message.

Fucking awesome. The legendary Ric Flair is making people rich and helping North Carolina kids get some learning. Or, at least I'm assuming that's why it's called the NC Education Lottery. 

Ric Flair is the man. WOOOOOOO!

Duke's Dream Job: Daisy Duke Inspector

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That Plant in the Background

I'll totally volunteer to water it.

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Still Young at Heart

Sometimes, even the evil forces of the Galactic Empire like to remember what it was like to be young and carefree.

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Her Name is Kelly

And she's a slut, no matter how you look at it.

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Taste the Rainbow

I think I might be in love.

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'Jennifer's Body' (a.k.a. An Excuse to Post Megan Fox)

Today is September 18 and, as we mentioned here a couple months ago, Oscar-winner Diablo Cody's latest effort, Jennifer's Body, makes its theatrical debut today. The film stars Megan Fox, thus I'm using this whole theatrical release business as an excuse to post some long overdue Megan Fox-related content. Oh, how I've missed her.

Soderbergh's 'The Informant!' Trailer

Steven Soderbergh's latest film, The Informant!, hits theaters today. Based on a true story, the movie stars Matt Damon as famed whistleblower from the mid-90s Mark Whitacre. It also stars Scott Fuckin' Bakula. That's right. Quantum Leap, bitches! 

Graffiti Win

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Contra Vs. Duck Hunt

I wonder if the Konami Code would work on this game.

Created by YouTube user daneboe.

Best Batman Villain Ever

Forget the Joker. After seeing this photo, Poison Ivy now gets my vote for Batman's greatest nemesis of all time. And I'd also like to add DAMN!

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Executive by Day, Wildman by Night

A montage of highlights (if that's even the right word) from a 1988 video dating service, this clip is full of win, fail and everything in between - including Big Phil, Fred the Viking and more mustaches than a Magnum, P.I. look-alike contest.

Dating Montage
Uploaded by smithy00101. - Independent web videos.

Kanye According to Obama

I know we usually steer clear of political-related stuff around here, but this is just too good to pass up. Say what you will about Obama, but he hit the nail on the head with this one.

By the way, check out I'mma Let You Finish for a shit ton of humor at Kanye West's expense. Thanks for inadvertently creating a new Internet meme while once again proving yourself to be a jackass, Kanye.

Go, Go Gadget Beer Bottles

'Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2' Looks Awesome

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2 hit store shelves today. I loved the first Ultimate Alliance game and was actually still playing it up until a couple months ago. As awesome as that game was, this new one looks even better. 

I'm definitely heading out to pick up a copy of this game before the night is over.

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze - Chippendale
Uploaded by tressage.

The Hi-5: Hottest Music Videos Ever Made

5. Hot for Teacher - Van Halen

Some of the hottest unknown babes of the 80s could be found in Van Halen's videos. Our best theory is that David Lee Roth got his hands on a beta version of Sex Panther. After seeing this one for the first time, we looked at - or at least thought of - our biology teacher in a whole new light.



4. I'm a Slave 4 U - Britney Spears

Sure, some of you are going to say, "What? Britney made the list, and it wasn't for Hit Me Baby One More Time?" To which we reply, "Yes. We chose worn-on-the-outside panties over the plaid skirt. It sort of surprised us, too, at first. But the Hi-5 (especially the inaugural edition) is serious bid-ness. Compared to panties worn on the outside, plaid skirts are a dime a dozen. Panties on the outside, FTW."



3. Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne

Not since Missy Preston has there been a more MILFtacular blond on screen.



2. My Neck, My Back - Khia

We'd never wondered what it would be like to be an H2 prior to seeing this one. Khia's male counterparts in the hip-hop game are known for pulling the hottest of hot coochie for their videos, but Khia lays the smack down with this boner-inducing/semi-instructional vid.



1. The Outsider - A Perfect Circle

Even though its YouTube clips are not embeddable, how could we overlook a video featuring bad girls in bikinis, a wading pool, a muscle car and ample hell-raising? Seriously, there are fucking nun-chucks. Lawn ornaments are molested. The fact that the song actually rocks pretty hard is just the icing on the cake. Meet our winner.

Evolution of Nintendo's Controllers

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Boomshakalaka!

Off the bounce. Between the legs. Over dude's head. Fucking amazing.

Video courtesy of Basketball 24/7.

Or, how about a view from a different angle? It's still just as amazing.

The Jedi Shopping Network

The power of the Force can't just be bought and sold, son. What the hell were you thinking?

South Beach, Bringing the Heat

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Epic Battle: Spud Webb Vs. Manute Bol

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Megaman Vs. Donkey Kong

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'Gamer' Hits Theaters

Gamer dropped in theaters today. I don't think it's one that I'll run right out and see, but it at least looks like an interesting concept. 

'The Joy of Gaming' with Bob Ross

Bob Ross was a god among men. Who else could complete an entire painting, start to finish, during a 30-minute TV show? Legendary.

And this might've been his greatest work.

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Hell Yes! 'Boondock Saints II' Trailer!

If you've never seen The Boondock Saints, then you should go do so right now. Seriously. Go watch it now before you continue reading this. I'll wait.

For those of you who have seen it, I'm really not gonna wait on those poor bastards to get back. They should've had the good sense to see it before now. After all, it's one of the most kickass movies ever. Period. Besides, they can just catch up when they return. 

And what they'll be catching up to is the new red band trailer for Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. Fuck yes!

My god, I'm ready to see this right now. Unfortunately, though, it won't be in theaters until October 30. 

Mike Judge Heads Back to Work

Remember Mike Judge? He was the creative genius behind such animated awesomeness as Beavis and Butt-Head, King of the Hill, and the Milton shorts from SNL. His greatest work, though, is one of my favorite movies, without question. I'm talking about Office Space.

If I were to make a list of my top ten, Office Space would easily make the cut. (Note to self: future blog idea.) It's smart, funny, and well-written. Not to mention, it's filled with hilarious one-liners, from Lawrence's thoughts on $1 million and menages a trois to Milton's incoherent ramblings involving his stapler. Where else can you see Michael Bolton beat the shit out of a copier to the profanity-filled sounds of the Geto Boys? That scene alone makes the flick worth watching because, let's face it, we've all wanted to do the same thing to a copier/computer/printer/fax machine/etc. at some point. 

Hopefully, Mike Judge's newest movie will bring the hilarity just as strong as Office Space did. Opening on Friday, Extract stars Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, and quite a few other familiar names, one of which is Ben Affleck. Say what you will about Affleck, but the dude almost always delivers in these types of supporting roles and, from the looks of it, this one won't be an exception.

 

Side note: During the entire run of That '70s Show, I never found Mila Kunis to be hot at all. However, it seems like every time I see her nowadays, she's fuckin' fine as hell. What happened? I guess once you stop playing a whiny, conceited, self-absorbed bitch, as Jackie (her character on the show) was, you get hotter by default.

The Funniest 'Teen Wolf' Parody Ever Made. Ever.

Coming in at a little over seven minutes long, this spoof from improv comedy troupe Summer of Tears may be a little too lengthy for the 30-second-clip-hungry masses; otherwise, it would have more views than, quite possibly, anything on the entire fucking internet.*

Seriously, it's that funny.

There's a three-day weekend coming up. Why not take seven minutes or so and LOL at the funniest Teen Wolf parody in the history of humankind? It is epic win defined, in this blogger's opinion, easily as funny as anything I've seen on television or at the movies this year.



*Porno not included.

Beer Pong Gone Wrong

Drop On In Anytime - Watch more Funny Videos

Great View

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It's Better than Bad, It's Good

See more funny videos at Today's Big Thing.

Marvel Wishes Upon a Star

In what can be classified as a complete "WTF" moment, Disney purchased Marvel yesterday for $4 billion. From where I sit, this is absolutely awesome news. 

The possibilities coming out of this deal are endless. It's almost a lock that I'll finally get to see the Goofy/Punisher crossover that I've been dreaming about for years. Even better, the next High School Musical flick will undoubtedly feature a karaoke-battle against the Brotherhood of Mutants. And best of all, it's a certainty that Howard the Duck will replace Spider-Man as the unofficial "face" of Marvel Comics. (Yes. Howard the Duck is a Marvel Comics property.)

Yep. Big changes are comin' Marvel's way, and should any of the above scenarios (or any similar ones) really come to fruition ... well, let's just say that I'll be heading straight to Disney World to go berserker on a certain unnamed mouse and all his goddamned Marvel-killing friends.

(Image by Matt Occhuizzo)

(via Popped Culture)