The Hi-5: Hottest Music Videos Ever Made

5. Hot for Teacher - Van Halen

Some of the hottest unknown babes of the 80s could be found in Van Halen's videos. Our best theory is that David Lee Roth got his hands on a beta version of Sex Panther. After seeing this one for the first time, we looked at - or at least thought of - our biology teacher in a whole new light.



4. I'm a Slave 4 U - Britney Spears

Sure, some of you are going to say, "What? Britney made the list, and it wasn't for Hit Me Baby One More Time?" To which we reply, "Yes. We chose worn-on-the-outside panties over the plaid skirt. It sort of surprised us, too, at first. But the Hi-5 (especially the inaugural edition) is serious bid-ness. Compared to panties worn on the outside, plaid skirts are a dime a dozen. Panties on the outside, FTW."



3. Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne

Not since Missy Preston has there been a more MILFtacular blond on screen.



2. My Neck, My Back - Khia

We'd never wondered what it would be like to be an H2 prior to seeing this one. Khia's male counterparts in the hip-hop game are known for pulling the hottest of hot coochie for their videos, but Khia lays the smack down with this boner-inducing/semi-instructional vid.



1. The Outsider - A Perfect Circle

Even though its YouTube clips are not embeddable, how could we overlook a video featuring bad girls in bikinis, a wading pool, a muscle car and ample hell-raising? Seriously, there are fucking nun-chucks. Lawn ornaments are molested. The fact that the song actually rocks pretty hard is just the icing on the cake. Meet our winner.